Frustrated at Fifty

Dear Tango Tia: Why should I keep going to milongas when there are always extra women, and most of them are younger and more attractive than I am? I usually end up sitting most of the night and sometimes leave early because I don’t get asked to dance. It’s totally frustrating and although I love tango, it’s too disappointing time after time to continue unless something changes. Is there anything I can do to improve my chances of being asked to dance more often? Frustrated at Fifty

Dear Frustrated at Fifty: Most women over 50 who are successful at milongas dress well, dance well, and present themselves well. They are positive, hold pleasant conversations with all genders and all ages, and dance with all skill levels. They sit where they can be seen on the way to and from the floor, make eye contact with men they would like to dance with, and change location now and then. Some wear peek-a-boo tops or backless dresses, with the notion that skin sells. (And it does. It seems that guys are attracted to skin more than just about anything. So if you have lovely skin (not sagging in arms or back) perhaps a bit more showing will up the ante.) Also, become the best dancer you can be. Lessons, workshops, etc. are always great places to meet prospective partners. It takes time to develop friendships that become good partnerships, but it happens and the resulting dances can be very memorable. There will always be extra women, but it need not mean the end of your tango life. Make the extra effort to be lovely and “out there.”


  1. Jantango says

    Do what my friend Jean (69) does — go to Buenos Aires. She lives in the USA where the men her age want to dance with the young girls. That’s not the case in the many milongas in Buenos Aires where the men dance with women. Jean had the time of her life for the last three months, going to two milongas each day when her feet could stand it. She danced constantly with men her age and had a ball.

    I don’t have to travel to Buenos Aires since I moved to the mecca of tango in 1999.

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