I Couldn’t Breathe

Dear Tango Tia: Last night some guy asked me to dance and when I got close to him he pulled me against his chest and held me so tight I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t know what to do or how to get away. What could I have said or done to let him know I was very uncomfortable? And how can I keep it from happening again?–I Couldn’t Breathe 

Dear Couldn’t Breathe: Are you willing to tell this dork how he makes you feel? If not, do not dance with him. As long as women keep dancing with him and don’t speak up, he’ll never know what he’s doing wrong and will keep making women miserable. If you dance with him again, and he pulls you against him, try pushing away and saying “I prefer to dance open frame.” If he opens or says anything that lets you know he didn’t realize he was making you uncomfortable, great. If he keeps holding you close, or trying to, then write him off. There are plenty of leaders who care about how their partners feel. Find them.


  1. Tango Tia says

    Bs As men and others who have the comfort and pleasure of their partner in mind will catch on and adjust accordingly. Men who dance for themselves…not so much.

  2. Jantango says

    I’ve been in her situation a few times in Buenos Aires. Depending on the man, I would relax and try to enjoy his firm grip or move my torso to get breathing space. They got the message without a word said.

    The same goes for an uncomfortable arm position or hand hold. I let my partner know I’m not comfortable, and he adjusts for me. Argentine men do whatever it takes to please a woman in their arms.

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