Dear Tango Tia: My dance partner/fiance gets jealous whenever I dance close embrace with someone else. He says I’m being too intimate. But it’s ok for him to dance close with other women because he says he knows there’s nothing going on except the dance. We’re planning to be married next year and I’m afraid he’s going to keep getting mad at me when we go to a milonga. I love tango and do not want to give it up and I love him but do not want him to control how I dance. How can I make him see how unfair this is?–Partner Problem.
Dear Partner Problem: And you are marrying this guy because…? If you’re passionate about tango and give it up because of what he thinks, you will end up resenting him. If you stay in tango, you’ll resent him for making you feel guilty. I don’t see a smiley face in your future together on or off the dance floor. Do you really think he’s going to listen to why you think his attitude is unfair? The fact that he HAS that attitude should raise a huge red flag, a banner even. So what’s it gonna be for the next several decades…he controls you or you revert to having control like you did before he came along. A partnership needs to be equal. I hope you find one.