Dear TangoTia: I politely asked a women to dance with me and she declined saying that her feet hurt and she was resting. I then said to her, “That’s ok, I’ll just sit down with you and wait until you’re ready”. Then after ignoring me for 20 minutes she accepted a dance with someone else. I think that was rude. Am I missing something?–Rebuffed in Seattle
Dear Rebuffed: Yes, definitely you are missing something. First, if possible use cabaceo to invite a woman to dance. However, that is not always possible so a polite verbal request is in order. At this point a woman has three options (1) yes, (2) no, or (3) maybe later. “Yes” and a simple “no” are easy to understand, but unfortunately “No” and “Maybe later” can come in many forms and be confusing, so here’s a guide.
- If any kind of excuse is offered without a followup, assume it’s a no and your job is to thank her and walk away.
- If an excuse is offered and she suggests maybe later, thank her, walk away and return later with a request to dance.
- Under no circumstances sit down with her unless specifically asked to do so.