No One to Dance With

Tango Tia: I’ve been diligently taking lessons, attending practicas and practicing by myself now for 9 months. I’ve had many compliments from my teachers – but – I get only very few “yes’s” when asking women to dance. A full tanda is rare. No one is able to figure out the problem: I’m 60, male and very average looking (but not overweight). Is that the problem. It’s not an age thing, either: women in my age group will dance 1-2 dances, then want to sit down. What’s the point of $50/hour lessons when no one will dance with you?

Dear No One to Dance With: I’d love to help get this resolved so you can enjoy your tango life. You are probably doing fine on these, but just to review a few basics:

Pop a mint often, have no personal or clothing aromas, keep your follower safe, follow line of dance, quiet when dancing, not bumping in to her or stepping on her feet, maintaining a comfortable embrace. If all of those are in place, here are a few options to consider:

1. Ask a trusted teacher to dance a complete tanda and give candid feedback.

2. Ask a trusted friend to dance a complete tanda and give candid feedback.

3. Compare what each tells you and look for similarities and differences.

4. If you’re okay with this, ask a follower who has cut you short to please tell you why.

5. Wait till the third song of a tanda and ask someone who is still sitting. (This would be good to start with.) If she visits with you during the cortina, ask her if she’d like to continue. If she starts to leave or says “Thank you,” let it go and try the same approach with someone else later.

7. Film yourself dancing and review with a teacher and/or partner.

Let me know if you follow through with any of these and the results.

Tango Tia